For those in or out of the law, one of the best and most funny courtroom cross-examination scenes is in the movie My Cousin Vinny. Linked here (the section begins at about 8:00 minutes), Vinny, played by Joe Pesci, is defending two young guys mistaken for suspects in an armed robbery at a convenience store. He cross-examines a guy who identified the two boys as suspects based on the time it took him to cook grits on his stove.
Cross-examination is great, because it tests out a story and helps to uncover the truth. When someone speaks, it can sound great; but it may be full of holes when another comes forward to question him. (Prov. 18:17).
In this cross-examination, Vinny suggests that maybe two other boys did the robbery, ones who came in the store afterward. The witness, Mr. Tipton, says that Vinny’s idea is wrong. Mr. Tipton says that he saw them enter when he began cooking his grits and heard the shots when he sat down to eat, a time of about 5 minutes.
Vinny then reminds Mr. Tipton that cooking grits from scratch, which follows the laws of physics, takes the rest of the world 20 minutes. How could it only take 5 minutes for Mr. Tipton? Vinny then goes into a series of questions. “Can water can soak into a grit [a piece of ground corn] faster” in his kitchen “than in any other place on the face of the earth?” Tipton responds very flustered, ‘I don’t know….I’m a fast cook, I guess.” Vinny continues, asking whether the “laws of physics cease to exist on your stove?” “Where these magic grits?” “Did you buy them from the same guy that sold Jack his beanstalk beans?”, a reference to the Jack and the Beanstalk fairy tale.
In thinking of this it reminded me of one of my earlier posts and the need to emphasize the craziness of our President’s economic plans. Our President really should be cross-examined on how he expects increasing debt to make us economically prosperous. Here’s my cross-examination script, which because of the lunacy of our economic plan, ends up looking pretty close to the lines from My Cousin Vinny.
William (calmly): Is it possible that there is another way to get us out of this recession other than by spending money we don’t have and redistributing money from businesses and people who have it to those who don’t?
President Obama (confidently): No. I believe that buy printing money and giving people money, our economy will improve.
William: (calmly) So you mean to tell me that not having money to spend affects you differently when the entire money spending world can’t spend what it doesn’t have? How can you make debt go away by spending more money?
President Obama (flustered): I don’t know; I’m a great leader, I guess.
William (a bit more intense and louder) : I’m sorry, I was all the way over here and I couldn’t hear you; did you say that you’re a great leader? That’s it?!
Obama (nods sheepishly): <silent>
William (incredulously): Are we to believe that the money in your national checkbook multiplies to pay debts in a way different from any other place on the face of the earth?!
President Obama (flustered): I don’t know.
William (incredulously): Well perhaps the laws of economics cease to exist in your administration?!
President Obama: <silent>
William (incredulously): Are these magic dollars?! Did you get these bailout dollars from the same person who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?!
President Obama: <silent>
And as the judge attempts to protect Mr. Tipton, the media in reality swoop in and protect the President from any further criticism. But the answer he eventually must give is “I’m not sure.”
We can go beyond that, and give a resounding “No.” The entire depository of world history can testify that money doesn’t spring from debt. Debt must be paid away; it cannot be spent away. And that’s the final analysis on the upside-down economic plan that this country has had pressed upon it. The basics of economics are that you can’t spend yourself out of debt; printing money causes inflation because it devalues the dollar. Rewarding companies for poor performance by bailing them out does not force them to change their ways. Debt must be reconciled with the people who made it, not pushed off to another generation. And when government interferes in the economy rather than being a referee, bad things result.
The laws of physics didn’t fail on Mr. Tipton’s stove; he was simply wrong. And the laws of economics don’t change because Barack Obama is at the helm of our ship of state; he is simply wrong. Let’s call it for what it is and begin to operate on truth.
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